His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
