How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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