I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
