we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
