Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
