READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize