handjob tips. give me some.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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