Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
In America we eat man semen.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
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