if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
