dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
