so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
