i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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