Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My balls are so social today.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
