Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I have demons in me.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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