She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Who wears a wallet chain?!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
