Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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