Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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