Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
