ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
