All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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