Buhtt sex?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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