Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
