Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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