I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize