But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
