so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
