Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
