just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
