At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
