worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
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