im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
