I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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