Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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