I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
