Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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