Where did you get a picture of my penis
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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