He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Panties = found
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
