I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
