I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize