The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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