let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
