He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
