I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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