I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
