New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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