Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize