I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
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