ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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