i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Your cock deserves a montage
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
