Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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