so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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