im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
