Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
