listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
there is glitter all over my balls
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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