im drinking this country out of the recession.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
i now understand why vodka
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
