just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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