hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
