is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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