Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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