I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
