I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Terrible idea I love it
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize